Royal wedding Fascinating Facts

Royal wedding Fascinating Facts

By Peter Bruce posted on Monday, April 25, 2011 @ 7:22 PM - (General)

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YES WE  ALL KNOW THERE’S an affluent young couple getting married this  week, and we’re all meant to be cheering from the rafters.

I say affluent, though they’re much more than that.YES I know they could save 5 million kids

Will and Kate are so incredibly well-heeled that they could be mistaken for a pair of Noddy Holder’s 1970s platform shoes.

I’ve got nothing against rich people, I would love to be one my self,or would I.I think I am happy now.

What is irritating is that it’s  tax money  ensures the Royals keep on rolling in it, money that is

Big Wills don’t pay no bills – people  pay ‘em for him.

But are these two  any more idle than Prince Andrew or Fergie?

Off with their heads is what I say. Though I suspect that wouldn’t make much of a difference to Fergie, who runs on bargain batteries instead of brains.Back to the story.

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m not a Royalist, so I won’t be watching this week’s wedding, even though I love weddings, just real ones

Instead, I’ll be watching something slightly more entertaining – paint drying in my house

Actually, the paint was put on my  walls years ago.

So I’ll be watching dry paint remain dry.Then I will go to a real wedding for a nice young couple who are lets say spending a tad bit less for there wedding.And I know will have just as much fun.Maybe more fun.

FASCINATING FACTS ABOUT just in case you care,the

BRITAIN’S FABBEST FAMILY!

Fascinating Wedding Fact No 1

Prince William is not going bald. What’s actually happening is that his head is expanding to fit the crown he will one day wear, meaning his hair is having trouble covering those extra acres of scalp.

However, there won’t be any unseemly gaps on his head on the day of the wedding.

The Wimbledon greenkeeper has agreed to cover the excess space in lush turf. Then, Andy Murray will play an exhibition on William’s forehead. Murray will, of course, lose in three straight sets.

A Royal wedding is about tradition, after all.

Fascinating Wedding Fact No 2

Kate Middleton has promised to make herself even more dowdy after the wedding, to fit in with Royal protocol.

She is getting grey streaks, and is also being fitted for a set of Miss Marple-style shirts and scarves.

Fascinating Wedding Fact No 3

To prevent Prince Harry badgering the bridesmaids, the entire female cast of Hollyoaks has been invited to the Royal Wedding party.

Meanwhile, in the offices of Hollyoaks, producers are bracing themselves for a mass outbreak of pretty blonde babes demanding maternity leave. Harry is a fast worker, after all...

Fascinating Wedding Fact No 4

To prove the Queen no longer harbours negative feelings towards Camilla for wooing a married man, Her Majesty has made special arrangements for Prince Charles’s main squeeze.

Camilla is to be fed and watered in the very finest of the Queen’s stables.

Fascinating Wedding Fact No 5

Sarah Ferguson learned to moonwalk for the wedding. Now, when she is sneaking up on wealthy chums to beg for a loan, the wealthy chums will be fooled in to believing Fergie is beating a hasty retreat.

Fascinating Wedding Fact No 6

The first five facts are all untrue. Well, making it all up was so much quicker and easier  than doing research.Which I never do,well somtimes

PS Will and Kate ,I am still waiting for those 5 million kids to be saved.And incase you did not think we were doing any thing for the wedding here in the US of A well think again.

Starbucks has dedicated a cap,vettie,latte,mocha, what ever coffee  to them...

Cheers Peter Bruce

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