By Peter Bruce posted on Friday, December 18, 2009 @ 10:14 AM - (General)
This week Peter Bruce Photo & Video had a meeting with a bride to be (no name, but hi T). It sounds like a fun wedding and the bride & Groom are African American and while I was taking to the bride, I ask her if they were going to jump the broom?. I was shock that she said no other vendor she was talking too knew of jumping the broom. So I am here to help.
Jumping over the broom symbolized various things depending on the culture. Among Southern Africans, whom were largely not a part of the Atlantic slave trade, it represented the wife's commitment or willingness to clean the courtyard of the new home she had joined
In England, jumping over the broom (or sometimes walking over a broom), became nominally synonymous (ie. "Married over the besom") with irregular or non-church unions.
But in the American south, the custom determined who ran the household. Whoever jumped highest over the broom was the decision maker of the household (usually the man). The jumping of the broom does not constitute taking a "leap of faith" as the practice of jumping the broom pre-dates the phrase coined by Søren Aabye Kierkegaard by one hundred years if not more
After the end of American slavery, jumping the broom was seldom practiced. It was not necessary once African-Americans could have European-style marriages with rings and other identifiers. Jumping the broom was always done before witnesses in order for members of the slave community to know a couple was married. No form of marriage was recognized for Blacks during slavery, therefore jumping the broom solidified this ceremony within the slave community. Once Blacks could have European style weddings with rings that were recognizable by anyone as a symbol of marriage, the broom ceremony wasn't required.
Jumping the broom also fell out of practice due to the stigma it carried, and in some cases still carries, among Black Americans wishing to forget the horrors of slavery. Once slavery had ended, many Blacks wanted nothing to do with anything associated with that era and discarded the broom jumping practice altogether. The practice did survive in some communities though, and made a resurgence after the launch of Alex Haley's "Roots".
Sometimes African American couples who do not actually jump a broom when they get married, may joke or recognize the phrase to be synonymous with getting married in the same way that "tying the knot" is associated with getting married. Brooms can be beautifully decorated and may be used as a wall décor after the wedding ceremony.
Other Ethnic Groups Jumping over a broom as part of a wedding ceremony was also common in pre-Christian European cultures. The custom survived the introduction of Christianity and was practiced by both blacks and whites in the American South prior to the Civil War. Broom jumping is also practiced by non-Black groups and different religions around the world with some variation. Wiccans and Roma are among the groups who developed their own style of a broom jumping tradition. The Welsh also had a centuries-old custom called priodas coes ysgub, or "broom-stick wedding" alluded to in Dundes' work.
By Peter Bruce posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 @ 11:31 AM - (General)
"Planning the wedding is a trial run for your future marriage and a happy life together. The things you battle about now are clues to where you're going to have trouble in the future," says Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of True Partners: A Workbook for Building a Lasting Intimate Relationship. Here's what lies behind the most common prewedding blowouts -- and how to fix them from Peter Bruce Photo & Video
Family
"His family's guest list is getting longer and longer every day, and they're not even chipping in for the wedding."
Tessina warns that this particular argument is "a prototype for future financial dealings." Her advice: Be businesslike. Say to your beloved groom, "This is what your family's guest list will cost, this is what my family's guest list will cost. What can we do to limit the cost? Will your family chip in?"
Dr. Patrick Gannon is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the co-creator (along with his wife, Dr. Michelle Gannon, also a licensed psychologist) of Marriage Prep 101, a course designed for engaged couples. He suggests that there may be more here than meets the eye. "Always be on the lookout for conflicts like these to be about 'hidden issues.' Are either of you sensitive about issues of fairness or balance? Does one of you have a greater sense of obligation to your parents that the wedding be a certain way?"
Groom Involvement
"He doesn't even seem to care about the color of the table linens -- what is he, insane?"
Tessina warns that you could be expecting too much: "He's a man. Most men are clueless when it comes to design and decor." This doesn't mean that you should give up on including him, however. "Find out what he is interested in and encourage him to participate in that part," she says. Michelle Gannon concurs, and adds, "Make sure there are not any underlying issues; say that he feels he should defer to you because you are the bride so it's 'your day' or he feels that your parents or his parents are interfering with the wedding plans."
Money
You're spending big bucks on your dress; he wants to spend some of that cash to go to Bora Bora on the honeymoon.
This time, Tessina is not on the side of the bride. She asks, "What entitles you to spend big bucks on the wedding dress This needs to be an equitable deal. At least the honey moonis something you'll both enjoy. Sit down with him, like two adults, and work out the finances of the wedding together."
Religion
"Why isn't he making an effort to understand my traditions?"
Patrick Gannon advises first being sure that the groom understands what is expected of him -- the poor guy may not even know that you want him to learn about your traditions. Gannon suggests that this topic may even bring the two of you closer and says, "If handled calmly and sensitively, a discussion like this can be an opportunity to get to know yourself and your partner better just by getting clear about what these traditions mean and say about each other."
Aesthetics
He wants dark green ink; you want pale green. He wants candles on the tables; you think they look silly. And so on.
"So," comments Michelle Gannon, "you wanted your fiance to be more interested in the wedding details. Now you have a more involved groom, and a new problem. Both of you need to share the power and decision-making regarding wedding plans." She has a plan to accomplish that: "Decide on priorities by having each person rate on a scale of one to ten the importance of each detail. Remember, it's good practice to learn early on how to prioritize, negotiate, and compromise. These skills will come in very handy later on."
Territory
"Why does he think we should be married in New Jersey just because we live here? We need to be in South Carolina with my family. His relatives can fly in from Ohio."
"Ask that question for real, not just rhetorically," suggests Tessina. "Why does he want to get married at home? Maybe having friends at the party is more important to him than having family. That's a reasonable want. Perhaps you can scale things down and have a wedding at your family’s home and a party in New Jersey."
Friends
"For his best man, he picked his jerk of a college roommate who's just intent on getting my fiance drunk at our wedding."
It's time to be both supportive and sensible. According to Tessina, "He and his former roommate may have a strong bond -- just make sure there are some more reasonable men around them to keep a lid on things. Arrange with your brother or a male friend to befriend your fiance and help him resist the ploys of the best man." Patrick Gannon recommends sharing your anxiety with the groom, so you can handle the situation together. He says, "If the best man has a drinking problem, the groom might address his concerns directly to the best man before the wedding."
Bridezilla Behavior
He says, "Who is this detail-obsessed, wedding-magazine-reading woman and where is the girl who used to sit with me watching baseball and drinking beer?"
Drop the Martha act. Your guy may have a point. "He's right," says Tessina. "If the wedding has become more important than your relationship, that's a warning sign. Yes, you want a lovely wedding, but not at the expense of your relationship. After all, what's the point? Keep your future in mind."
Prenups
"Why is he so intent on planning our divorce when we aren't even married yet?"
This could be a blessing in disguise, according to our experts. "If you pay attention, the prenuptial agreement can be as big an asset for you as it is for him," says Tessina. "It's another way to discuss essential financial issues before you commit." Naturally, the prenup brings up more than just finances for many couples. "This is usually experienced as an emotional issue between the couple, often involving feelings of trust, commitment, and faith in each other and the future of the marriage," says Patrick Gannon. "Don't let this issue remain unresolved, because it can erode the love you have for each other."
The Past
He is good friends with an old girlfriend and wants her to attend the wedding. You wouldn't mind if she were dead.
Tessina minces no words on this topic. "Oh, grow up. You've already won this battle -- he chose you. Don't mess up things now by being petty and jealous. Those are not becoming traits. Befriend her, get to know her, and you may like her yourself. Invite her to help with a shower. If you're too insecure to do that, perhaps you should rethink getting married. You may not be ready." Michelle Gannon points out, "You two need to discuss how involved ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends are going to be in your life together."
By Peter Bruce posted on Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 9:54 AM - (General)
Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Connors. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford – but you'll take him anyway.
By Peter Bruce posted on Monday, December 7, 2009 @ 10:28 AM - (General)
Here is a topic no bride or groom what to talk about but Peter Bruce Photo & video are here to help and have a check list.Question....Bickering more than usual? Not quite connecting between the sheets? Take our quiz to find out whether it's just prenuptial jitters or if you two should take some time to work things out before you walk down the aisle on your wedding day.
1. You come home from work with a fabulous idea for how to arrange the seating. How will your guy react?
2. Now that you're engaged and planning a wedding, how often are do you fight?
3. When was the last time you two had a weekend when you didn't talk weddings?
4. When people ask how the planning is going, what's your most likely (and honest) response?
5. Is there a particular sore spot you just can't agree on?
6. When you aren't in agreement on a wedding detail, how do you work it out?
7. Time to turn in! As you switch off the bedroom lights, you...
8. When you picture your life together after the wedding is over, what do you see?
By Peter Bruce posted on Thursday, December 3, 2009 @ 10:14 AM - (General)
Kids can add some memorable moments to a wedding day, but sometimes kids make a scene that the bride and groom would rather forget. . Names have been removed to protect the innocent (and the guilty!).
Over the years Peter Bruce Photo & Video has collected some funny quotes from people at weddings where kids have been at. Hope you enjoy.Names have been removed to protect the innocent (and or the guilty!) Please let me know.
"I went to my friend's wedding where, while everyone was sitting down for the reception, one of the kids pulled the fire alarm. It took the firemen 15 minutes to shut it off."
"I was at a wedding where the bride was a teacher and asked her entire first grade class to participate as flower girls and boys. During the ceremony, one of the girls ran back down the aisle, stole the registry pen, and wrote her name all over her body and dress while screaming at the top of her lungs. It took five of us to catch her and bring her to her mother, who had not left her seat for the ordeal."
"I was at a friend's wedding recently, and during the first dance, five kids began running circles around the bride and groom. One of the girls fell on her face and the happy couple had to stop and ask the child's parents to come get her."
"My brother-in-law's nephew covered my sister's wedding getaway car with anything he could find. He took salad dressing, mayo, soap from the bathroom, and dirt and smeared them all over the windows and into the vents. The wedding was in December, so as one would guess, it all froze to the car -- the bridal party spent the better half of the reception cleaning up his mess."
"At my friend's wedding, there was a large punch fountain at the reception. Three kids were standing with their hands in the fountain letting the punch run through their fingers! "
"During a wedding I attended, one of the flower girls threw a hysterical fit right before walking down the aisle because she didn't want the gum that she had in her mouth anymore. But after her mother took the gum away, she continued to throw a fit because she wanted it back."
"At a family wedding, the flower girl thought that standing in her place during the ceremony wasn't any fun. Instead, she decided to see how loud she could make her new shoes click against the wooden benches in the church. No one could hear what the officiant -- or the bride and groom -- were saying over her clomping."
"While everyone was on the dance floor, a child ran up to the bride and, with a frustrated look on his face, pushed her. The bride completely lost her balance and fell over! She was mortified."
"There was a kid running around with a cup of red punch at one wedding I went to. He ran smack into the bride and the red punch went all over her dress. Needless to say, there was no getting that stain out."
"I watched in horror as the flower girl and another little guest played tag all through the room, running under tables and knocking the elderly guests over. Guess what they used as their base? You got it. The tiny table with the tall and beautiful wedding cake on it. Can you imagine what happened?"
By Peter Bruce posted on Sunday, November 29, 2009 @ 9:50 AM - (General)
Over the past years I have been asked to shoot and you may have heard of one of the latest trends in wedding photography. Hint: It involves the bride wearing a lot less than her gown. Boudoir photography is definitely gaining popularity among to-be brides, but what's it really all about? Find out whether these risque pics are for right you.
Boudoir photography is a sexy new trend that's especially popular as a wedding day gift from a bride to her man to be. Boudoir photos are usually taken wearing either just a little, or well, nothing at all. They're hardly X-rated though, but rather PG-13 as in classic pinup-inspired pics, or what the pros call 'implied nudes.' That means you're not wearing anything, but you're also not showing off anything either (think shot from the back, or lying on your stomach).
Who will take my pictures?
Many wedding photographers have embraced this trend, your photo person may offer this as an additional service. An added bonus of going with a pro: Many brides like to have the best of their boudoir photos bound in a mini album just for their hubby, a service many wedding photographers are able to arrange. In some cities, you may also be able to find services that specialize in boudoir photography. While the shots you get may not be as high quality as those of a high-end wedding photographer, there can be other perks --like closets full of potential wardrobe items or props.
When should I schedule the session?
If you're spending time and money on anworkout & beauty routine, you may want to wait until a week or so before the wedding to show off the results. Plus, a fun and pampering photo shoot is a good way to indulge and take some time out from wedding planning. Though you might be inclined arrange for the session on the morning of your wedding, resist the urge. For one, you're not likely to feel very sultry if the rain clouds looming over your outdoor ceremony site are the first thing on your mind. Second, do you really want your to-be mother-in-law walking in on you while you're posing in just your veil? Stick with a separate shoot so you'll have time to really feel comfortable and get some great shots.
How long does it take?
Though it depends on the package you choose, your boudoir photo session will probably last about two hours. Why so long? It takes time for hair and makeup, plus the additional lighting setup. It may also take you a little while to relax. Most brides aren't used to lounging around wearing little, if any, clothing in front of the camera, so your first few shots will likely look a bit stiff.
What does it cost?
Cost varies considerably,do a little investigating before you commit to a vision of what you want. Multiple set changes, renting props, or simply time spent can add up quickly. If you can add a private session onto your wedding package, you may be able to get a better deal than if you go with a different wedding photographer. The real key, of course, is whether you gel with your photographer -- if you don't feel comfortable, it will show on camera. Peter Bruce Photo does not charge extra.
Where should they be shot?
Talk with your photographer to come up with the best location. Many photographers may be able to do a photo session in a studio. I like a posh hotel room the one where you are getting ready in. Your own home or a borrowed home is another option. The main key is to get an okay from your photographer on the locale -- a number of different backgrounds for poses are important, and they'll also need lots of natural light.
What should you wear?
The most important thing -- choose outfits that make you feel sexy and you like. A good rule of thumb: Bring something white, something black, and something in a bright color so you can mix and match. A corset will create sexy curves. In addition to lingerie, don't forget shoes, jewelry, and that engagement ring.
Should I bring anyone along ?...YES a brides maid or two
Though you don't want to turn your shoot into a three-ring circus, it's a good idea to bring a friend. Why? You'll feel more at ease if you can make a few jokes with a pal, plus she may be able to help with suggestions. Another idea: Bring a bottle of bubbly. A little champagne may help loosen things up. You'll be posing like a pro in no time -- but of course, this is a one-time-only exclusive for a very special audience (your very lucky groom).
All this being said I think it is a great gift for your man, and over the years I have NEVER had anyone,Bride or Groom I am sure not even Tiger Woods, wish they had not done it. Let me know what you think
By Peter Bruce posted on Wednesday, November 25, 2009 @ 8:22 AM - (General)
May be not this year with only one day till Thanksgiving ,but maybe plan a Thanksgiving Wedding next year. Here are some tips from Peter Bruce Photo & Video.
Here are some creative ideas to get you started towards planning an great wedding with a Thanksgiving twist...
Thanksgiving is the perfect time for an elegant yet relaxed wedding, as the golden autumn holiday lends itself to natural settings More so if your are in the North East, simple decor & food. While the general rule of thumb is to avoid having your wedding around a holiday, Thanksgiving presents an real different set of circumstances. While you probably don’t want to hold it on Thanksgiving Day, the Friday or Saturday after can be a great option. Most friends & family will either already be in town or planning on traveling anyway - so making the trip to your wedding may not be a burden. Plus, most of your guests will already have the day off. Hotels are always cheap this time of the year. Here are some great ways to plan your Thanksgiving wedding in style & Class…
Good Ideas for a Thanksgiving Theme Weddings (next year)...
Wedding Invitations & Stationery...
Send out save the date/event card as soon as possible since your wedding will fall on a holiday weekend next year.
Dress up ordinary wedding invitations and wedding with silk fall leaves included in each one you send out.
Wedding Flowers etc...
Instead of ugly arrangements featuring pricey blooms - keep your decor a simple and to the point enhancement to mother nature’s natural bounty. Use the autumn harvest for inspiration, pumpkins, squash, gold dipped leaves.
Use hollowed out pumpkins or cornucopias for centerpiece holders on the tables.
Hey ladies you’re not confined to rustic & casual for Thanksgiving weddings. Make a posh Thanksgiving ambiance, and drape lush velvet in a rich deep chocolate brown or gold throughout your wedding space. Accent the scene with antique broaches, crystal candelabras and stemware.
Menu & Food...
Food is the main thing for your wedding. You cannot go wrong with traditional food like turkey, mash potatoes, corn bread dressing, green beans, & glazed carrots & don't forget GRAVY.
Think about incorporating old family recipes into your thanks giving wedding menu & serving the meal family style
Serve some traditional fare in sophisticated, creative ways. Heres an idea, present soup or veggie puree in mini shot glasses or hallowed out gourds, or warm cider in glass mugs with cinnamon sticks.
The Wedding Cake...
To round off the thanksgiving feast(like people will need more food) - serve a pumpkin cake or even a tiered pumkin pie!
Wedding Favors...
Pour...miniature bottles of maple syrup are a sweet treat and help the Canadan dollar JOKE
Bag... fill mini bags with coffee beans, bulbs, or any treat you desire, also tie a label with your monogram or wedding date to the top
Make... homemade goodies like fudge, candy apples,cookies, jams given in festive packaging
Fill...miniature wood crates lined with straw and filled with goodies are a rustic touch and fun
